Stop, Think, Pray: SELF-CONTROL

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and SELF-CONTROL. Against such things there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23)

We have reached the ninth and final fruit that Paul lists for the Galatians as products of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives—self-control, or temperance.

The original Greek word is enkrateia, which Kenneth S. Wuest defines as “possessing power; strong; having mastery or possession of; continent; self-controlled.”

Some people take issue with translating enkrateia as self-control, because built right into the word ("self") is the idea that we are the ones who are doing the work. Temperance, however, appears more open to the reality of the Spirit being at work in us.

The term self-control works for me, though, for a few reasons:

1. It is more readily understood in modern times than the more archaic term temperance.
2. Temperance carries historical associations with the Temperance Movement in the U.S., calling for an end to the making and selling of alcohol, whereas the meaning in the Bible applies to a lot more than just alcohol.
3. All of the fruit of the spirit originate and grow by the power of the Holy Spirit, and then manifest in my thoughts, words, and actions. Whether it’s love, patience, faithfulness, self-control, or any of the rest:  They only manifest consistently and effectively in my life by the power of the Holy Spirit, not by my own efforts.

Self-control serves as a defense against temptation and poor choices. We may know very well what is good for us and what is bad for us, what is the right thing to do and what is the wrong thing to do, but without self-control—the ability to constrain ourselves to do what is good and right—we will not always choose well.

For children, perhaps the easiest introductory explanation is:

Self-control is saying “no” to temptation.

Here are some activities that can help children get a better sense of what self-control looks like in everyday life:

Experiment/Conversation

Back in my blog post about the fruit of the spirit we call PATIENCE, I referred to the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment from the 1970s, where children could choose between a  small reward  immediately, or a larger reward if they were willing to wait for a period of time. This same exercise can be used to talk about self-control.

Put a favorite treat (like a gummy bear, M&M, marshmallow, or Teddy graham) in one bowl, and a handful of the treat in another bowl. Give your child this choice: “You can have a treat, but you have to choose: You can have the first bowl with the small treat in it before dinner, or you can wait and have the second bowl with the larger treat in it after dinner. Do you have enough self-control to say “no” to a small treat now so that you can enjoy a larger treat after dinner?” 

You can follow up with a conversation: Which did you choose? Why did you make that choice? How did it feel to exercise self-control in order to get the larger number of treats? (Or, alternatively, why do you think it was too hard for you to exercise the self-control needed in order to get the larger number of treats?) Do you think you made the best choice? Why or why not? (I recommend making space for their own individual opinions; they may have an interesting argument to offer!)

Bible Story

Jesus is our perfect model of self-control. We can look at stories about him in the Bible in order to see an example of holding out against temptation, and having the self-control to do the right thing. 

Read together the story of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, either from a storybook Bible or from Matthew 4:1-11. 

Here is a brief description of this story from the Ministry-to-Children web site:

In this passage, Satan himself comes to Jesus and tempts him three different times. Each time Jesus practices self-control and does not sin. What is Jesus tempted with in verse 2? (Food) Matthew tells us that Jesus has been fasting (not eating) for 40 days and 40 nights and was hungry. Can you imagine how hungry Jesus would be after not eating for 40 days and nights?! I get hungry if I just skip breakfast! Satan knew this and so He tempts Jesus to use His power as God to make some food. However, even though Jesus must have been extremely hungry, through Scripture He used self-control to resist the temptation [in order] to do what was right.

He is our example of self-control, and by the power of His Spirit inside of us, we can show self-control to resist temptation too!

If your child has the attention span to discuss all three of the ways Satan tries to tempt Jesus, then visit the Ministry-to-Children web site to read more.

Building with Blocks

This activity will help children understand the words found in Proverbs 25:28: 

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” 

(Both Ministry-to-Children and The Littles and Me have a version of this activity.)

Have your children build a little city out of houses and figures, and then construct a wall around it with blocks or LEGOs. Read Proverbs 25: 28 aloud to them, and explain that it is saying that when we don’t have self-control, we’re like a city whose walls are broken down and left open to attack.

To demonstrate this truth, give each child a rolled-up sock or soft ball, and invite them to “attack” the city by breaking through the walls. What happens to the city when its walls are broken down? It is left open to attack! An enemy can come by and damage the city even more, because it is unprotected.

The verse from Proverbs tells us that when we have no self-control, we are like this city with no walls: we have no protection against temptation. When we are tempted to do wrong, it will be hard for us to say “no” and to do the right thing instead.

By allowing the Holy Spirit to direct our lives, by calling on God through prayer and asking for His help in developing self-control, we can be in charge of our thoughts and our actions so that we can do the things that may not be easy, but that we know are the RIGHT things to do! 

Some examples from the Ministry-to-Children web site include: showing kindness to someone who has just hurt your feelings, obeying your mom right away when she asks you to clean your room instead of arguing, or waiting patiently even when you want something really badly because you trust that something even better lies ahead (like the marshmallow experiment above).

STOP THINK & PRAY

We aren’t on our own in our efforts to show self-control. The Holy Spirit wants to help us make good choices and do the right thing. Remember when you are tempted, you can STOP, THINK, and PRAY for God to help you obey Him.  

Here is how Ashley at The Littles and Me explains it:   STOP what I'm doing.THINK about how my actions, thoughts, words will impact others. PRAY for help to obey God. 

Jean, from In All Honesty, had her children create door hangers to remind themselves of these three steps. You can have your children use construction paper or card stock (heavy weight paper) to create a door hanger for themselves, too!  

**************************************************************

If you missed the earlier posts on fruit of the spirit, you can find them here:

The Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

LOVE is My Superpower

Jumping for JOY

Give PEACE a Chance
PATIENCE is a Virtue

Try a Little KINDNESS

For GOODNESS' Sake
Great is Your FAITHFULNESS

In GENTLENESS There is Strength

In GENTLENESS There Is Strength

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, GENTLENESS, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23)

Photo Credit: Avery Krider

In our society, we tend to value toughness above gentleness. When our children are troubled, we are advised to offer “tough love,” we expect our government officials to be “tough on crime,” and we admire leaders who are “tough as nails.” Gentleness, sometimes translated as meekness or humility, can be rather suspect in our culture.

With our heritage of “rugged individualism” and “pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps,” we tend to equate such qualities as gentleness, humility, and meekness (all of which are translations of the related Greek words, praus/prautes) with being a doormat, or allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of. But when we look at the gentleness valued by God and demonstrated by Jesus, the real strength to be found in gentleness is revealed.

Jesus didn’t teach with the arrogance of the Pharisees, but he still spoke up and taught in the synagogues with an authority that his listeners readily recognized. Jesus saved the life of the woman caught in adultery, and treated her with gentleness and kindness, but he still told her to stop sinning. Jesus chastised Peter with the words “Get behind me, Satan!” but he still established him as the foundation of the church. Showing gentleness did not compromise Jesus’ authority, strength, or effectiveness.

In fact, when we look more closely at the sense in which the word gentleness is used to describe Jesus, we discover that it actually means something closer to “power under authority” or “strength under control.” Whose authority and control was he under? He was under GOD’S authority and control. And when we allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, we have His power under His authority at our disposal to share in His work in this world.

Object Lessons

When sharing with children about the fruit of gentleness, an object lesson can be helpful. Begin by asking what an infant, a baby chick, and a porcelain plate all have in common. (You may want to show them pictures of each of these items.) The answer (at least the one relevant to THIS lesson!) is that they are all fragile and need to be handled with care. 

We, too, can be hurt when someone says something mean to us, laughs at us, or makes us feel left out. God wants us to be careful with EVERYONE, not just babies, small animals, and breakable objects! He wants our thoughts, words, and actions to be gentle, and He helps us display this quality when we allow His Holy Spirit to guide and direct our lives.

Another popular object lesson related to gentleness uses water balloons to get the point across. This activity can be lots of fun now that warm temperatures are arriving! Fill several water balloons, and place them in a large container. Set another large container within throwing distance. Each person in the family tosses one water balloon as hard as they can to try to reach the second container. (Most of the balloons will probably pop and explode water in the process.) Next, each person in the family is instructed to get a second water balloon safely into the container by placing it there as gently as they can. (These balloons, if handled carefully, are unlikely to pop.)

As Ashley at The Littles and Me, writes, “Just like the balloon that we weren’t careful with, when we are harsh or careless with our words, we can really hurt other people and make them burst. But when we are gentle with our words and actions, it shows that we care about others and want to treat them in a kind and loving way.”

Coloring page

Enjoy this coloring page, in which a young child carefully holds a baby bird. Use the picture to talk about what it means to be gentle in our words and actions.

Act It Out!

On slips of paper, write out various scenarios where someone speaks to you harshly and in anger (for example, a neighbor yells at you to get off their lawn, a bully knocks over your sand castle at the beach, a classmate calls you a mean name). 

Have a family member pull out one slip of paper and read the scenario. His or her job is to respond to the situation in two ways: First, he responds in anger. Second, he responds with gentleness. 

You may want to create skits about each scenario as a whole family. You could even record them and turn them into mini-movies to watch and discuss later! 

Talk about what might happen as a result of the angry response, as compared to what might happen as a result of the gentle response. 

(Kids of Integrity is the source of this great activity!) 

**************************************************************

If you missed the earlier posts on fruit of the spirit, you can find them here:

The Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

LOVE is My Superpower

Jumping for JOY

Give PEACE a Chance
PATIENCE is a Virtue

Try a Little KINDNESS

For GOODNESS' Sake
Great is Your FAITHFULNESS

Great is Your FAITHFULNESS

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
(Galatians 5:22-23)

We have looked at more than half of the fruit of the spirit at this point! Faithfulness is the seventh of nine fruit that we are empowered to display when we allow our lives and our character to be guided and shaped by God’s Holy Spirit.

God is our perfect example of faithfulness: He is constant, stable, and dependable. Many of us hold onto the promise in Lamentations 3:22-23, telling us that His mercies are new every morning. One of the most astonishing things I’ve discovered about God over the years is His unlimited willingness to forgive us and welcome us back again as His children, no matter how often or how far we may stray. He is faithful when we are faithless. He is constant when we are shaken. He is stable when we are unmoored. He is dependable when we are wavering.

Recognizing God’s faithfulness to us feeds our desire to be faithful to Him. And our faithfulness to God directly affects our faithfulness to other people. When our relationship with God and our trust in Him breaks down, it is much easier for our loyalty to our other relationships to fall away. Our faithfulness to following God and obeying His Will has a direct effect on our behavior and conduct in our everyday life.

Watch this six-minute YouTube video for a description of the fruit of faithfulness and where it comes from:

Explaining Faithfulness to Children

For a child, perhaps the easiest way to understand faithfulness is:

Faithfulness is doing what I say I will do.

We can see examples of God’s faithfulness in the way the sun rises each morning, in the way the moon goes through its phases each month, in the way the seasons move one into the other through the year. 

And we can be examples of faithfulness in the way we do the chores we have agreed to do, keep our promises and tell the truth, take care of our pets so they have the food and attention they need to thrive, and show kindness to our friends so they know that they can count on us.

Faithfulness Necklace

As I said before, recognizing God’s faithfulness to us feeds our desire to be faithful to Him.  Spend some time talking or writing about the times when God has been faithful: when He has shown you His presence, when He has provided for you, when He has directed you, when He has forgiven you and given you another chance, when He has protected you. 

You can make this conversation more concrete for children by having each person in the family place a colorful bead onto a string or cord each time someone shares an example of God's faithfulness.  In this way, each family member will create a Faithfulness Necklace to wear as a beautiful reminder that God keeps His promises to us.

(The idea of a Faithfulness Necklace is shared at The Littles and Me.)

Bible Story

Perhaps one of the best loved stories of God’s faithfulness is the story of Noah's Ark, and the gift of the rainbow that serves as a reminder of God's promise to Noah. The story of Noah’s faithfulness to God, and God’s faithfulness to Noah, is found in Genesis 6-9, but you may prefer to read to your children from a storybook Bible. The key scripture to hold onto from this story is:

“Then God said to Noah and his sons with him… I establish my covenant [promise] with you: ‘Never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.’ And God said, ‘This is the sign of the covenant [promise] I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant [promise] for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant [promise] between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant [promise] between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.” (Genesis 9:8, 11-15) 

Notice how many times God used the word “covenant,” meaning promise. When God says in the Bible that He will do something, He follows through and keeps His promises. God is a keeper of His promises, and when we allow His Spirit to direct us, we can be keepers of our promises, too!

Whenever we see a rainbow, let’s remember that it is a sign of God’s faithfulness. Create your own rainbow drawing or painting to hang in the front window. Or, create a painted rainbow rock to put by your mailbox. You are sharing a symbol of God’s faithfulness with your whole neighborhood!

Faithful Prayer Calendar

One way we can be faithful to God and to the people in our lives is to spend time in prayer each day. We can use a calendar to help us be faithful to our commitment to pray! Each box on the calendar stands for one day of this month. Write the name of someone you can pray for in each and every box of this month’s calendar. Then, whenever you have your special prayer time—in the morning, before dinner, or before bed, for example—use the calendar as a reminder to pray for the person whose name is written in today’s box. You can check off each calendar box after you have prayed to further track your progress toward being faithful to your commitment. (This idea was developed from Power Pak of Object Lessons, published by the editors of KIDS Church.)

**************************************************************

If you missed the earlier posts on fruit of the spirit, you can find them here:

The Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

LOVE is My Superpower

Jumping for JOY

Give PEACE a Chance
PATIENCE is a Virtue

Try a Little KINDNESS

For Goodness' Sake

For GOODNESS' Sake

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, GOODNESS, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23)

When Paul writes to the Church in Galatia about the fruit of the spirit, he is telling them about nine different benefits that come into our lives and our character when we live by the power of God’s Holy Spirit.  Our character comes to reflect God’s character, so that our lives and our actions are characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Today, we’re going to focus on the fruit of GOODNESS.

Goodness refers to morality and virtue, especially as it benefits others. Some have defined it as “holiness in action.” It isn’t just about being good, but also about doing good. We display goodness when we are motivated by righteousness and a desire to be a blessing. So, when we talk with our children about how the Holy Spirit manifests “goodness” in our lives, we can talk about how we can be a blessing to others.

On the Bible Knowledge web site, Michael Bradley calls goodness a kind of magnet: 

"Many people who have been saved through an individual believer say that what drew them in was the love and goodness they saw shining through that believer. One of the key qualities a nonbeliever will pick up on in a solid Christian is this quality of goodness. This quality has an ability to really get down deep into the core of a believer’s personality… You can see it and feel it when you get around these types of people. As a result of seeing this God-like goodness deeply ingrained into their personalities, there is an immediate drawing towards them. You feel totally safe being around them because you know you can totally trust them, and you know they would never deliberately hurt you."

Chemistry for Christ

To create a striking image in your child’s mind about the cleansing power of Christ’s forgiveness and our capacity for goodness through the power of the Holy Spirit, try the following:

1.      1. Fill a cup or bowl with water. As you add a few drops of red food coloring, talk with your child about how the water was once pure, but adding the color calls to mind how sin (mean thoughts, unforgiveness, impatience, etc.) takes away the purity of our lives. How can we clean our minds when they are polluted? How can we return to lives of purity? Only through the cleansing of Christ’s forgiveness! Now, add some chlorine bleach to the cup or bowl, and watch as the red coloring becomes clear. The water isn’t red anymore! It’s been purified! In the same way, when we ask for God’s forgiveness through Christ, and invite the Holy Spirit to direct our lives, we are can be purified! We can be “cleaned up” on the inside.

2.      2. Get out three glasses. Before your child sees them, add a few drops of blue food coloring to one empty glass, and a few drops of red food coloring to the second empty glass. Leave the third glass alone. Bring your child into the room. 

        Pour water into the glass with the blue food coloring, talking about how sin causes our lives to become dirtied. It can often hurt others and cause us to feel guilty. We need someone to forgive us. Forgiveness comes through Christ, through the sacrifice he made for us when he died on the cross. 

        

       Now, pour water into the glass with the red food coloring, talking about how Christ took the punishment for our sins so we could receive forgiveness. This red water symbolizes, or stands for, his death on the cross. 

       Now pour water into the third, empty glass, explaining that the result of Christ taking the punishment for our sins, and then overcoming death to rise back to life in the resurrection, was that we are forgiven by God and made pure inside. Whenever we sin, we can come to God through Christ and ask His forgiveness, and He will forgive us! “God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we've done wrong” (1 John 1:9, God’s Word translation). Our relationship with God has been restored through Jesus, and we are God’s forgiven and beloved children.

These activities are found in Power Pak of Object Lessons, compiled by the editors of KIDS Church, and published by CharismaLife.

Sing a Song of Goodness

Listen to “The Good Song” from Seeds Family Worship (link below) to celebrate the goodness of God, who makes it possible for us to be good, as well!

Coloring Page

Click here to access this coloring page to print out and enjoy!

Scripture Study

1. With older children, read the following Bible verses together, and then talk about what each one teaches us about goodness. Let your children share their thinking!

Galatians 6:9: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” 

Ephesians 2:10: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

1 Thessalonians 5:15: “Make sure that no one pays back one wrong act with another. Instead, always try to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”

2. With children of any age, read the story of The Good Samaritan from a children’s storybook Bible, or from Luke 10:25-37. (There are also videos on YouTube, and online story re-tellings you may prefer to access.) Talk about which characters in the story did NOT demonstrate goodness, and which character in the story DID demonstrate goodness. What “good thing” did the Good Samaritan do? What can we learn from the Good Samaritan that we can apply to our own lives? (How can WE do good in our lives?)

**************************************************************

If you missed the earlier posts on fruit of the spirit, you can find them here:

The Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

LOVE is My Superpower

Jumping for JOY

Give PEACE a Chance
PATIENCE is a Virtue

Try a Little KINDNESS

Try a Little KINDNESS

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, KINDNESS, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23)

We have reached the fifth of the nine fruit of the Spirit that Paul writes about to the Christians in the church of Galatia. When we as Christians allow our lives to be shaped and directed by God’s Holy Spirit, we are empowered to show kindness to others.

Matthew 5:16 points out that we can recognize a tree by its fruit: a fig tree will produce figs, a grapevine will give us grapes, and a Christian who has allowed the Holy Spirit to take the lead in his or her interactions with others will show kindness!

Kindness can influence our thoughts, words, and actions. It involves being friendly, generous, and considerate when it comes to how we think about, speak to, and act towards others. Through the power of God’s Holy Spirit, it is possible for us to be kind, even in difficult situations, such as when we aren’t in a good mood, or when we feel that others are not being kind to us.

Family Kindness Brainstorming

When we set an intention to approach our world with kindness, we are more likely to notice opportunities to show kindness, rather than letting those opportunities pass us by. Spend some time talking as a family about ways we can go about our day and move about in our world in a posture of kindness. Make a list as the ideas begin to flow! Here are some ideas for simple, everyday kindnesses to include:

1. Smile at people as we pass, rather than frowning or looking away.

2. Use phrases like "please" and "thank you" to help people feel appreciated.

3. Look behind us as we walk through a door to see if there is someone to hold it open for.

4. Le someone in front of us in line.

5. Offer to help with bags or other burdens when we see someone who is overloaded.

6. Take time to listen to someone who has a problem or challenge, especially when we know they have no one else to talk to.

7. Offer to help with tasks around the house, rather than waiting to be asked, or complaining and grumbling when we are asked.

8. Offer a compliment or word of encouragement.

Kindness is really about showing God’s love flowing through us by our actions! How can we show LOVE by our ACTIONS?

Kindness Resources

Visit the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation web site for resources and ideas related to practicing kindness.  You will find posters, calendars, bookmarks, award certificates, and coloring pages to download, as well as games, quotations, and videos to enjoy. If you become overwhelmed by bad news, this site is a great place to visit to read stories of kindness, which God can use to lighten your burden and strengthen your spirit.

Gratitude Gifts

With many stores being closed right now, many of us are doing some of our shopping online and receiving packages delivered right to our homes. Delivery workers are on the move! As an act of kindness, the Kids for Peace site suggests leaving a basket of goodies by the door for the delivery drivers to choose from. The basket might include bottles of water, oranges, chocolates—even rolls of toilet paper! Check out their web site for some fun messages of appreciation to match up with these items. 

**********************************************

Parents, we are the role models of kindness for our children, and Jesus is our role model. He practiced kindness to people who were usually ignored or mistreated in the time and place in which he lived: women, children, people of other religions, the sick, the weak, the sinful. He came alongside them, provided for them, and healed them. But you know what he did for them that we have the power to do for every single person we meet? He PRAYED for them. And that is perhaps the greatest kindness we have to offer the people of the world. Take time each day to lift your family, your community, and your world before God in your prayers. Let Him know that you are coming alongside Him in the work that He wants to do in His people, that you want to be a part of His plan and His purposes. Offer Him a heart that is willing to care, to encourage, and to serve.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

If you missed the earlier posts on fruit of the spirit, you can find them here:

The Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

LOVE is My Superpower

Jumping for JOY
Give PEACE a Chance
PATIENCE is a Virtue

PATIENCE is a Virtue

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

(Galatians 5:22-23) 

Photo Credit: Susan Lowry Hare

In a letter to the Christians in the town of Galatia, the apostle Paul wrote about nine good things the Holy Spirit can bring into our lives if we will allow Him to direct our thoughts and actions.  Paul called these “fruit of the spirit,” and he included PATIENCE on the list. (Some Bible translations will use the words “forbearance,” “endurance,” or “long-suffering” to refer to patience.)

Patience is the ability to handle waiting, delays, interruptions, and problems without whining or complaining. That’s a tough one for anyone who is human! After all, haven’t we all gotten impatient at times when we have to wait in a check-out line, when our food comes late in a restaurant, or when we want to talk to someone who never seems to get off the phone?  And most people can relate to jokes about our kids crying out, “Are we there yet?” when we’re on the road for a family vacation.

Baking/Conversation

Have a family conversation about some of the times that it can be difficult to show patience without the help of the Holy Spirit.  Children might think about how hard it is to wait for a birthday party to come around, or a fun vacation, or even just waiting for dinner! And most kids will relate to how hard it can be to wait our turn when we’re playing a game.

Baking provides a great opportunity to talk abut the importance of patience for good outcomes. Consider how Chelsea at Moments a Day uses baking to teach her children about patience, and then either talk about it with your kids, or guide them through a baking experience (try making banana bread, blueberry muffins, or a chocolate cake) to make the lesson come to life:

Whether it’s waiting patiently while little brother has his turn stirring, or waiting that five extra minutes – that feels like forever – for the oven to get to the correct temperature, there are small opportunities one after another that require my kids to practice patience throughout the experience. 

I ask questions like: What if we do not wait for everything to be stirred properly, and rushed through this step so that lumps of flour were not mixed up?  What if we took the muffins out before they were cooked, and half of each muffin was still wet batter?  They see through real life examples that the results of the activity would not be the same if they did not patiently do each job as it was supposed to be done. 

Even roasting marshmallows over the fire pit can present an opportunity to talk about the benefits of patience. After all, don't we all have to demonstrate patience to wait for that perfect level of goo-iness for the ideal s'more?

Experiment/Conversation

You might be familiar with the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment from the 1970s, where children could choose between one small reward (a marshmallow) immediately, or two rewards if they were willing to wait for a period of time.  You can try a version of this with your own children to start up a conversation about waiting, patience, and delayed gratification:

Put a favorite treat (like a gummy bear, M&M, marshmallow, or Teddy graham) in one bowl, and a handful of the treat in another bowl. Give your child this choice: “You can have a treat, but you have to choose: You can have the first bowl with only one treat in it before dinner, or you can wait and have the second bowl with the handful of treats in it after dinner. Are you willing to wait patiently until after dinner to have a lot more treats?”

You can follow up with a conversation: Which did you choose? Why did you make that choice? Do you think you showed patience, or not, with your choice? Do you think you made the best choice? Why or why not? (I recommend making space for their own individual opinions; they may have an interesting argument to offer!)

Based on: http://thelittlesandme.com/the-fruit-of-the-spirit-is-patience-kids-activities/

Coloring Page

Check out http://childrenschapel.org/biblestories/color/fruit_patiencecolornz.html for this fun coloring page!

********************************************

Parents, we are the role models of patience for our children. How do we behave when our order runs late at the restaurant, when we are caught up in traffic or someone is slow to turn at a light, when the doctor is running late with her appointments and we’re stuck in the waiting room with our kids? Our children are watching us and taking their cues from us. Let’s be open to God’s promptings to develop the fruit of patience in our own lives, as well.

If you missed the earlier posts on fruit of the spirit, you can find them here:

The Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

LOVE is My Superpower

Jumping for JOY
Give PEACE a Chance